Do you ever think you’d like to do something, but end up backing off because you’re not sure how it will turn out? Well, I’m not a stranger to such a dilemma. As an example, let me introduce you to my hair and a question I’ve been asking myself.
To dye, or not to dye?
I grew up quite blonde, but as years passed, my mane got darker. I didn’t like it, so my stylist added highlights to brighten my hair (and my spirits). Then, all on its own, my hair started to grow pale again. However, it wasn’t in a way that made me shout “Yipeee!” Gray had crept in. I graduated from highlights to an all-over blonde-color hair dye. It’s been good, though. My blonde hair and I have been happy together for quite some time. But over the past few years, I noticed a trend. More and more women were embracing their gray. They looked confident and fabulous and nothing like your mother’s grandma.
In between hair appointments, I started to think more often about going au natural. Heather, my stylist, said she thought my hair would look fine without dye. She did, however, explain that growing in gray was a process, with frustrating moments. I mulled over the matter, and several times got brave enough to tell her, let’s do it. Then I’d chicken out.
Finally, I gave myself a pep talk. You’ve earned your gray hair. Stop hiding it, and get to know yourself better. After all, this isn’t a court order. Worst case scenario, and you can always go back to a manufactured blonde color. Voilà! The light bulb went off, and a decision was made. Time to transition. It’s now been six weeks since any color has been put on my head, and so far I haven’t panicked, thrown up, or felt the urge to get rid of my flip flops and buy a pair of support hose.
What I did do, however, was wonder whether anybody else was on the same path as me. A quick search of Facebook groups, and I found one called “Going Gray Gracefully“. With a title like that, how could I go wrong? I joined the group, and let me tell you, it has been an eye-opener. Many have chosen to do exactly what I’m doing. Women of all ages, shapes, and sizes are going gray and loving it. The group members are generous with sharing tips, encouragement, and best of all, inspiration. Thanks to their stories, I’ve gone from nervous to excited. We cheer each other on – virtual soul sisters – because we’re all in this journey together.
Growing out gray isn’t a monumental event, but it feels a lot like forging any new path. Whether its publishing a first book or a fifth one (gulp, yes I did), singing a solo, or taking a solitary vacation somewhere far away, it’s natural to have doubts. That’s why it helps to have friends who say, “You go, girl.” There’s a feeling of comfort when you know others are experiencing the same thing you are, but will still talk you off a ledge. Like those who tell you about the magical purple shampoo. Or some simple ways to temporarily hide roots. Folks with whom you can commiserate and celebrate. Whatever the endeavor, a support group helps.
What will I look like when I complete this transition and my gray grows out? I don’t know, but I’m looking forward to meeting the “new” me.
Now let’s talk about you.
Is there something different or daring you’d like to try? What’s stopping you?
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Touching and humorous, you’ll love Pat’s latest contemporary romance, Along the Road (Becker Family Novel Book 2).
Pat’s other award-winning books and stories include:
On a City Street (Becker Family Novel Book 1)
21 Responses
Congratulations for making the decision. It’s a tough one that I struggled with for a long time. It’s been two years and I’m not going back. You’ve earned every one of those hairs with your huge heart.
Oops, Diane, I hit comment instead of reply when I commented on your post. Still getting used to the new website! LOL
Thank you, Diane! I know in a world of big problems, this isn’t anything major, but it felt like a gigantic decision to me.
I hope my hair turns out to be as lovely as yours. 🙂
I know I mentioned this on Instagram (I think?), but I went gray over a year ago and I couldn’t be happier. I’m going to check out that FB group.
Here’s a funny anecdote: I was getting a haircut months after I decided to stop coloring my hair, and my hairstylist told me, “I’ve seen worse.” I loved the gray color, so it didn’t bother me, but I was struck by the rudeness.
A week later, I ran into her in a restaurant and she told me she loves my hair, but that she was expected to say something like that because it’s her job to push the dye. I felt much better after that.
You go, girl!
Luckily, my stylist is supportive, which helps.
Thanks for the cheerleading, Amy. It helps to hear encouraging words from others who are happy with the decision! 🙂
Kudos to you! I let my hair go natural about 2 years ago and it is SNOW WHITE! It is quite liberating! Sometimes I don’t like it but kids nowadays are spending a FORTUNE trying to dye their hair my color 🙂 Mine isn’t gray at all, it’s completely white! You will love it and I bet you will look beautiful!
It makes me so happy to hear you say this, Caren! My grandmother had the most beautiful snow white hair. I’d be delighted to get the same color. One of my friends calls it “Nordic blonde”. 🙂
I can totally relate, Pat. Last year I tried to let my hair go gray but after twelve weeks I went back to color and highlights. Yep, I even had the purple shampoo. I am seriously considering trying again. Maybe I’ll check out the FB group you mentioned. 😊
I think you’ll find the group helpful, Sally. It certainly changed my perspective. I’ve actually found a couple of other FB groups that have the same focus. So of course, I joined them! 🙂
I’ve been circling around the same idea. Bright orange is getting old, and I know it’s not healthy to dye as often as I do. It’s been a while since I last dyed it. Who knows if I’ll let it continue going au naturel or not… or what color it will be when it’s returned to its natural state.
You, Pat, will look fabulous and fierce… no matter what you decide to do. (And now I’m going to check out what’s up with the purple shampoo.)
Sioux, if you’re thinking about it, there are several FB pages on going gray or going silver. Probably several websites as well. They are so helpful with suggestions and support. I know it’s hard to make the decision, but I think it will be worth it in the long run. 🙂
My hairdresser told me I am fifty percent white, not gray. She wants to use my hair as her palette and paint me with pastels. Not yet. My hair color lasts a couple months, so I am merely toying with the idea, but it;s a matter of time.
Oh, white! You are so lucky, Linda. I would be ecstatic if my hair came in white. We shall see… 🙂
Good for you! I love when people make bold choices and go with it!
Thanks, Margo! Fingers crossed I’m happy with the results. It’s such a process getting there, if necessary I may have to learn to love it. 🙂
I applaud you. I won’t be joining you. My gray isn’t pretty, I prefer having color, plus since I don’t wear makeup having gray hair would make me look even older.
But I use Tints of Nature and do it myself. Much gentler than most since it’s not the kindxyou can go lighter but much. I’ll be doing it Saturday.
That’s awesome, Jeanne! Everyone needs to make their own choice for sure. I’m hopeful I’ll be happy with my new look. 🙂
Hi Pat, I’ve known you since you were in 8th grade. You were cute then, you are beautiful now. Your true beauty comes from within. Don’t sweat the hair color.
Check out Emmylou Harris if you want to see a woman rocking her grey hair.
Awww! Marty, you are too kind. 🙂
It’ll be an adjustment, but I’m committed to doing this. LOL You may not recognize me the next time we meet!
When I first saw strands of grey hair, I would grab the tweezers and pull out each offensive strand.
…it is a good thing I stopped or I would now have patches of baldness.
I have since embraced the grey, but only because I am too lazy to commit to dyeing it.
Thanks for telling me this! It seems like most who have endured the process of transitioning to gray, are happy with the results. I’m about an inch into the process, and am at the point where I wish it would hurry up so I can see the full effect. 🙂